tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89490062024-03-14T03:03:37.073-07:00A.J.Anto's Mind SpaceS.B.O.A School->CEG,Anna University->Microsoft India R&D Hyderabad->Microsoft Corporation, Redmond,WA USA -> Isha Yoga Center, India
To put it simply: Shankaran Pillai
Check out my new blog: http://the-ananth.blogspot.in/Ananthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13090898959915727183noreply@blogger.comBlogger84125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949006.post-75402591613507848532011-11-18T23:42:00.000-08:002012-05-03T05:24:33.180-07:00Anto Rocked!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://picasaweb.google.com/104762330580065757293/PicsFromExile#" target="_blank"><img border="0" hda="true" height="240px" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0PZAj2G1_BE/TsdS3-aGdvI/AAAAAAAAAs0/Dld0NXs7myg/s320/14062011125.jpg" width="320px" /></a></div>
It is good to be back here. And from now on, you can call me by my new name: <a href="http://www.behindthename.com/name/ananta" target="_blank">Ananth</a>.<br />
Finally the notion of writing a blog named "antorocks" seemed so absurdly self-congratulatory. I have been wanting to right it for sometime but i could'nt. I guess now, it will be much easier. This will be my last post in this blog. This blog has chronicled my every step with Isha. Along the way i had met a lot of friends through this blog who continue to support me in so many ways. And for that: Thanks!<br />
I always thought I wanted to create some poignant literature. Something which is a little bigger than myself. Call me an immodest prick if you want to, but right now the experience of my life is poignant enough. This is the end of this blog. However I hope i continue to take those small steps in the 'face of all that life throws at me'.<br />
Anto Rocked. Anto is dead. Long live Anto.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tonybo/425306757/" target="_blank"><img border="0" hda="true" height="320px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRLVZLL5axOuCPWeYUSPrlvrZ5yeTRhlGHx1LJ44tM6RzdzUoWTaYRfId9eUTYwJszObWtJT6hu1xSLVyC8MBQG3eI796FxztaPvgyaHNefx8mg-S9IqbRgJ_UeKqbqkBiZPEH0Q/s320/WholeEarthCatalog_StayHungry_StayFoolish_thumb5.jpg" width="234px" /></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,FreeSans,sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="border-width: 0px; line-height: 1.25em; margin: 0px 0px 1em; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS',sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">When I was young, there was an amazing publication called<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.</span></i></div>
<div style="border-width: 0px; line-height: 1.25em; margin: 0px 0px 1em; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS',sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Stewart and his team put out several issues of<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you. - Steve Jobs ended his <a href="http://news.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html" target="_blank">Commencement address at Stanford</a> on 2005 thus.</span></i></div>
</div>Ananthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13090898959915727183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949006.post-77319425864726710602011-01-26T21:41:00.000-08:002011-01-26T21:41:02.386-08:00She...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Parched and dry I was, Devoid of abandon,<br />
Graced my life she did, with precision and passion wanton,<br />
Love at first sight it was not,<br />
Devious was the plot,<br />
The seduction slow.<br />
<br />
A whiff of her is all that it takes<br />
for me to lose myself in placid lakes.<br />
When I touch her, everything in me dies<br />
Yet, I never felt more alive.<br />
Am I courting the elixir or the poison??<br />
Or am i just naive?<br />
to play with my life without a sigh...<br />
<br />
A play it is, a twilight game.<br />
She the hound, me the hare.<br />
Mind you, no blood sport this.<br />
"Just Life longing for itself"<br />
Try as I might to run away,<br />
I rather be the meat on the Hunter's plate.<br />
<br />
She is there in my every breath,<br />
well sometimes I do lose her scent,<br />
and then I remember her.<br />
Unjudging she is, unrepentant i am.<br />
Poets may describe her fragrance primrose or ivy.<br />
My Beloved One simply calls her Shambhavi..<br />
</div>Ananthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13090898959915727183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949006.post-42954398089544140802010-12-24T05:24:00.000-08:002010-12-24T05:24:37.492-08:00Christmas BluesChristmas Blues<br />
<object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/igt3SJH-bRY?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/igt3SJH-bRY?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br />
"The Jingle bells are jingling The streets are white with snow<br />
The happy crowds are mingling But there's no one that I know<br />
<br />
I'm sure that you'll forgive me If I don't enthuze<br />
I guess I've got the Christmas blues<br />
<br />
I've done my window shopping There's not a store I've missed <br />
But what's the use of stopping when there's no one on your list<br />
<br />
You know the way I'm feeling when you love and you lose<br />
I guess I got the Christmas Blues.<br />
<br />
When somebody wants you When somebody needs you<br />
Christmas is a joy of joys<br />
But oh when you're lonely You'll find that its only<br />
A thing for little girls, and boys<br />
<br />
May all your days be merry Your season full of cheer<br />
But til its January I'll just go and disappear<br />
<br />
Santa might have brought you some stars for your shoes<br />
But Santa only brought me the blues<br />
Those brightly packages tinselled covered<br />
Christmas blues"<br />
<br />
Till now my blog has always been a place where I could express my most exuberant experiences...But this particular post will be a first of its kind. Sadhguru's program in Delhi was an amazing blowout. Being with the volunteers and throwing myself into the activity with such blatant abandon was so great! I am so longing to start taking Inner Engineering classes again. I miss the silence which comes with standing on my tired legs for 9 hours a day. But this post is not about that. This post is because suddenly i feel a need to express my sense of sadness. There could a variety of reasons to which i can attribute my sadness. Christmas is always a tough time for me after relocating to the ashram. I hate to admit it but I love Christmas time. My childhood memories are full of Christmas carols visiting our houses, Christmas trees, the sudden crispness in the Chennai air, being in close contact with family even if i am constantly bickering about how boring the sermon was. So like a sudden bolt of the blue sky, pangs of melancholy hit me. I am somewhere so far away from home..(well what is home you might ask...??)I have barely talked to my parents and each of my conversations have always ended with me disconnecting the call in mid-sentence. So today after so much cajoling, i finally called my family to wish them Merry Christmas and after the usual torrent of pleas/threats etc, finally I told my mother that i am tired of having a relationship over phone. Either they accept me for who i am or just stop calling me. I told them that the biggest disgrace to a human being is having people constantly telling him that he/she might have done something totally wrong. My mother said of course i accept you and then she started crying. I asked her if you accept me why are you crying. She said and i quote: "Can't a mother cry to her son". Such cliched one-liners straight from tamil family-drama movies would not have got me. But with the electricity in the air, me being alone in a new city and of course my struggle to grow, suddenly i too started crying. This vulnerability shocked me. But it is a remainder of just how many things within me are beyond me...<br />
Anyways thanks for reading. That's exactly what i needed a shoulder to lean on and time to move on...Ananthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13090898959915727183noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949006.post-80726053825457644942010-06-18T08:32:00.000-07:002010-06-18T08:35:50.905-07:00No ordinary bootcamp this!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://artgallery.com.ua/bigpicture.php?Artist=526&ID=048&lng=eng" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://artgallery.com.ua/pics/seshadrisreeniva/inet/048.jpg" width="270" /></a><span id="goog_500508488"></span><span id="goog_500508489"></span></div><br />
What I feel within myself right now is a tug-of-war between gratitude, nervousness and resolve. <br />
When I was much younger, while I was discovering the Gospel, sometimes I remember feeling forlorn. The Christ, the way I saw him through the gospel seemed to connect with me somehow. This is in spite of the fact that I had always felt going to Church to be a nauseating and stifling experience. I could not attribute all the nonsense that was happening around me in the name of Christianity to this one elusive being who resided only within myself. Whenever somebody asked a question to Jesus in the gospel, I remember feeling so exhilarated after reading Christ's answer. How much I had wished that Christ was there for me to answer the nagging questions that I had as a disquieted teenager. <br />
Eureka! That's how I felt after I did the Isha yoga program. I was really wowed that even now it is possible to wow'ed after all. And it piqued my complacency that such wisdom could be alive even while we exist now. This one year that I spent in teacher's training in the Isha yoga center, I had always felt cloaked by Him. It was not easy all the time. It was heartless at times. Sometimes I just wanted to bolt back to Seattle just so that I could eat that fabled pasta and bread from Maggiano's. And so it has come a full circle. For me this is what is really overwhelming: something that is so valuable, so potent has been given to my hands. That's how I felt when I received the shawl. It was my dream that I should spend the days of my life being in touch with that which I hold as the highest. In some ways I feel this is like driving on a one-way street. I had exited that highway that leads to nowhere. No Thanks, I rather be parked in a dead-end rather than stepping on the gas just once more.<br />
I will stop my ramble here, I just felt i should document this step that I am taking. I can't believe it all started with <a href="http://antorocks.blogspot.com/2005/04/is-this-another-passing-fad.html">this</a>!<br />
P.S: My teachers training is over (but never really over...). I received the shawl this week. I will be starting to take the classes quite soon.<br />
P.S1: While I am shaking with anxiety by the sheer enormity of it all, I remember <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neo_%28The_Matrix%29">Neo</a> reckoning "<a href="http://www.friesian.com/matrix.htm">There is no spoon!</a>"Ananthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13090898959915727183noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949006.post-7353898917887213322010-06-01T09:38:00.000-07:002010-06-01T21:08:17.355-07:00New Kid on the block!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/anto.rocks/MobilePics"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_6oHeW1f8l8w/TAUvfLkX-8I/AAAAAAAAAhk/YvmZ0HuOxbE/s400/DSC00024.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br />
I did it! One year in the ashram...Don't know why this sounds like bragging..but i don't care. I am very happy that I made this happen for myself. In addition to this chronological milestone, there is another one coming along. And I am just not ready to consider that it just might come to pass..More about that in another post..<br />
For now let me say "THANK YOU" to everyone...<br />
Thanking these people IS obnoxious but still...<br />
1) Thanks Lokanetra anna for the Isha Yoga program that you conducted for us some 6 years back. That class shook not just my life but also lives around me. What started as a spiritual experiment for two clueless buggers slowly started spreading like wild fire for all our friends.<br />
2) Thanks to all my friends with whom i share this journey. The original members of the now defunct 'Madhapur-Kondapur' Hyderabad gang, Rams, Vimal, Arun, Sw. Taporati, JP, Bala, Karthik, Sharma, Naresh, Raghu, Cheziyen, etc etc..And also the gang at Seattle..What an exhilarating experience! This made-to-order sangha at home..Some of them did not my share this new-found zest but still offered me so much support.<br />
3) Thanks Namath for everything that happened in the US for the two years I stayed there... Being with her challenged me to see myself in her shoes...I don't know whether I would be here if not for her.<br />
4) The folks in the vault office who had to put up with so many calls which came to the ashram after i landed here.<br />
5) Thanks to Sw. Vibodha who heads the kitchen team here for providing such wholesome food for this whole year. It is amazing to hear him address everyone irrespective of their ages as 'kannu'. That means apple-of-the-eye, usually reserved for calling small children in Tamil.<br />
6) Thanks to everyone at the teachers training for baby-sitting me all this while.<br />
7) And finally thanks to all those people who contributed to my <a href="http://apps.facebook.com/causes/activists/120460893?m=453212aa">cause</a>. Thanks a ton. 439$ was raised via facebook. Another 20K INR donated via <a href="http://ishavidhya.org/">ishavidhya.org</a><br />
This list is not complete and can never be completed...I have to stop now. I have to shutdown the machine because Swami Rithambara is going to kick me out if I don't! :DAnanthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13090898959915727183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949006.post-51044362433727435732010-05-06T23:33:00.000-07:002010-05-06T23:35:08.973-07:00My Guru Rocks!<img src="webkit-fake-url://2DBA7395-E76D-4B0E-83A0-4906940E532C/image.tiff" /><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/ishafoundation">http://www.youtube.com/ishafoundation</a>Ananthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13090898959915727183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949006.post-44949282799301041782010-05-03T10:43:00.000-07:002010-05-05T05:59:37.681-07:00My Birthday Wish<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.paintingsilove.com/uploads/6/6380/waiting.jpg"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://www.paintingsilove.com/uploads/6/6380/waiting.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />
It's been almost a year since i have been living in the ashram. As the <a href="http://antorocks.blogspot.com/2010/04/repost-this-american-life.html">previous 're-post' says</a>, deciding to move to the Isha Yoga Center has been one of my proudest decisions ever. Looking back however this decision seems to be quite rudimentary. In fact for anyone who has tasted this, I presume it must be. This impending anniversary of my stay in the ashram has made me look within and see whether I have been sincere about my goals and the direction in which I am leading my life. As much as the last year has been incredible (a more detailed post will follow), I feel sometimes I had been taking this ashram life for granted. On some rare occasions, to my horror, I have noticed my seeking and my sadhana were more feverish when I was hopelessly coding away in Microsoft. How easy it is to settle down..i have noticed. When I was in Seattle, one of the things that really drove me nuts was the possibility that one day when Sadhguru decides to leave us physically, that day i don't want my futile tears to be the only recourse. I feel if I don't make use of what he is offering when he is here and to shed a tear when he is gone, then that tear is a lie..A Bloddy lie. And i don't want to lie that lie. As I continue to soak in the overwhelming energy of this space, the possibility of what He is offering seems more and more real.And I hope i am conscious every day of why I am here and doing the things that i am doing.<br />
The fact that i had to pay a high price for my decision in terms of family and social alienation is a boon as well. Every time i feel the pain that i am causing to people around me who are 'affected' by my decision, I get an opportunity to see if I am making use of that one decision that i took. And almost masochistically that simple introspection works. I wish I could write I have found what i have been looking for. But i cannot.<br />
But what i can claim is the following:<br />
1) I can most definitely state is that this last year has been very fruitful to me personally and also to people around me.<br />
2) I cannot claim to the ultimate but i can claim that it is in the cusp of the ultimate that i have been basking.<br />
3) I feel really blessed that I had the opportunity to be here in the presence of the master. Been able to live in a sangha and a lifestyle where everything has been looked at in such mind-numbing detail by Sadhguru himself.<br />
4) Overall, I can also claim that I am doing the best thing that i think is needed for the world. What I have experienced as the ultimate is what i am dishing out everyday to the people whom i come in contact with. (That's why teachers training is such awesomeness!)<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://rstjohnstudio.com/compassion_-M.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="252" src="http://rstjohnstudio.com/compassion_-M.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
So that's about it! I have wanted to share this for so long..Am glad that it is finally out...<br />
And before i leave, I have one request to all my friends and all my readers. My birthday is coming up in almost a month. In the years before i have relocated, i had the luck to be with people who thought I am as much as their own family and we had such great birthday parties. Personally birthdays don't mean anything to me but if it is about people acknowledging their friends and having fun, then i am in! This birthday I want to give the gift of education to someone. Why I am bringing this thing up in a supposedly introspective post? I feel this is directly related to whatever I have been saying. If there is a reason why I could dare to quit my job and be here, it is because i never had to worry about money. Somehow I had caught the bus to economic security. I know I would not be like this if i had to worry about my next meal. As Sadhguru mentioned sometime, it is indeed vulgar to talk about spirituality when there is a hungry mouth around.<br />
And there are a lot of hungry mouths around where i am right now. I had the opportunity to visit the local Isha Vidhya school here in Sandhegoundampalayam more than once. I am touched by the work done by the volunteers there. Started as an educational initiative of Isha Foundation, Isha Vidhya aims to provide the children of economically disadvantaged families a fair chance in the global arena. The model is to set up schools in the each taluk which will serve the local rural children. Scholarships are provided by a network of Isha meditators around the world to the academically proficient children. I visited the schools here and it is quite overwhelming. The pedagogy is uniquely designed to impart English and computer skills to the children. I talked with some of the children and mind you almost all the children are from really rural background and it is amazing to watch the 8 and 9 year olds speak impeccable english and flaunt their computer skills...Perhaps the most beautiful aspect of this project is that it is set up as a way for people to express their inclusiveness. All the volunteers in the Isha Vidhya are people who have been touched by Sadhguru's message and as an expression of their spirituality, they are doing what they are doing. Case in point? The project leader of Isha Vidhya itself. Venkat was the archetypical fortune 500 consultant in the US who relocated back to India to volunteer full-time. It is amazing to watch him explain how he had to get the first students of the first Isha Vidhya school to go home after their first day at school. Watching these people work, I have no mixed feelings about what i want this birthday. I want to sponsor a child's education for one year.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://apps.facebook.com/causes/birthdays/341874?bws=cfc" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="51" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEj9goS7kJVL88G0F0NBIG19g9mJqAXXGVYghzoUySZp6EmrIONqcqvvl-F4QbLmN2_zhV7ADoPDL15DFv8Q30DW8CF-0Xnz1Q2xABifK0uEkq7VQlMx8hDrBu0eXgGq021UfPQQ/s200/donate-top.gif" width="200" /></a></div>What this entails? 250$ or Rs.10,000.<br />
<div style="margin: 0px;">To Learn more about Isha Vidhya: <a href="http://www.ishavidhya.org/">http://www.ishavidhya.org</a></div>Watch the videos <a href="http://ishavidhya.org/get-involved/watch-video.html">here</a>.<br />
To Donate: I have created a <a href="http://apps.facebook.com/causes/birthdays/341874?bws=cfc">facebook cause</a>. You can donate with your credit card there or you can directly donate at the <a href="http://ishavidhya.org/donate-now/financial-donation.html">Isha Vidhya site</a>. Both sites are safe for your credit card.<br />
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a><span id="goog_1590047806"></span><span id="goog_1590047807"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Ananthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13090898959915727183noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949006.post-65381491498710047882010-04-22T00:00:00.000-07:002011-02-25T01:59:03.420-08:00REPOST: This American Life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia;"><div style="border-bottom: 1px dotted rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0.5em 0px 1.5em; padding-bottom: 1.5em;"><div style="line-height: 1.6em; margin: 0px 0px 0.75em;"><div><h2 style="color: #999999; letter-spacing: 0.2em; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 1.5em 0px 0.5em; text-transform: uppercase;">WEDNESDAY, APRIL 22, 2009</h2><a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=8949006&postID=6538149149871004788" name="127fd9b303d4545c_121da0308bb8988e_2113465166913537315"></a><br />
<h3 style="color: #cc6600; font-size: 18px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 0.25em 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 4px;"><a href="http://antorocks.blogspot.com/2009/04/this-american-life.html" style="color: #cc6600; display: block; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><b style="background-color: #ffff66; color: black;">This American Life</b></a></h3>It is not always that i am proud to be under my skin. Right now, as my life unwraps, I feel like i am living my dream. It is a dream that i had nourished in my heart for so long. And now it has finally come to a pass. I will be leaving the US in a few hours and will be returning back to India where i plan to<a href="http://blip.tv/play/gr1t4LIpiLxg" style="color: #5588aa; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"> volunteer full-time for Isha Foundation</a>. </div><div><br />
</div><div>When i came to the US almost two years ago, a part of me acknowledged the limitations within which i choose to confine myself. i.e. Continuing a career which really did not make much sense to me. Nevertheless, when i landed here in Seattle, it was my dream that Isha should blossom in this corner of America. I could still remember when my flight from Chennai landed in Seattle, i was having a vision of Sadhguru conducting a class in a packed Safeco field. Visualizing the hard-ball players of Microsoft getting floored by the Class. It is ironically humbling to <a href="http://www.ishafoundation.org/component/option,com_newscomponent/Itemid,242/act,view/id,2296/" style="color: #5588aa; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">see almost all of this materialize</a>. Looking at all that has happened in these last 2 years, strangely i feel empty. Definitely it was a very worthwhile experience being a part of something so big here, but my eyes are always looking ahead. In one of the several farewell gatherings that was organized, i admitted that i am indeed very lucky to have found something that just makes so much sense that i am willing to let it take over my life.</div><div><br />
</div><div>So there came a point when i had accomplished my financial goals and there seemed to be no more reason to continue to work 8 hours a day in something that really didn't mean the darnest thing to me. One-by-one things around me fell into thier places in the most miraculous way. I wrote a letter to Sadhguru. Later, when i met him when he came to Seattle, he asked me to come.</div><div><br />
</div><div>So thats how i woke from <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Dream" style="color: #5588aa; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">my American dream</a>. And boy, did i love <b style="background-color: #ffff66; color: black;">this American life</b>. It was splendid. The moutains, the glaciers, the rivers, the streams, the flowers, the fall foliage, the volcanos, the work ethic, the roads, my car, my JBL speakers in my car. Yes I will miss them. I will miss doing a thigh burning 8-mile jaunt to the Granite moutain lookout with Raghu and Pala. I will miss cruising around in my car with heart pounding music thumping the glass windows of my car. I will miss the brooding Seattle winter.I will miss the exuberant Spring with all its flowery explosions. I will miss all this. It is so strange how quickly a place can become a part of yourself. As i watch the town of Redmond go by while returning from the last of the dinners tonight, i realized that i might not see this parallel universe again. This clean, tidy, predictable, comforting macrocosm. As i get seduced by these emotions, there is a ruthless part of me which makes me see the fallacy in these notions. Not just a fallacy but a obscenity in all this drama. Maybe i am too sure of myself. That explains why i had given a free rein to myself as i stampede on these emotions and memories. </div><div>(I have to make an apology to anyone who felt being stepped over by this stampede. My intention is not to trample upon anyone. Just myself for now)</div><div><br />
</div><div>And to my family:</div><div>Don't believe for a single instant that i am unaware of the pain that i am causing you. I realize that i have been an utter disappointment and an shameful embarrasment as a son and as a brother. By now you know my intentions and we mutuallly see the futility in coming to a closure about my decision. All i can say is i hope that someday you understand me and the circumstances that lead to my decision. And i am arrogant and stubborn enough to hope that one day you will taste the possiblity that i have tasted. People have been asking very pointed questions on why i am abandoning you to pursue my own dreams. The only thing i can say about that is i know the only way i will be settled is if i do what i care about. If i end up doing anything else, i have no doubts that i will be a failure to myself. And that to me is enough reason to do what i want to do. I acknowledge that your sadness and your anger at my decision comes from a certain sense of belonging to me and i respect that. And in that sense, i implore you to please let me do what i want to do.</div><div><br />
</div><div>About my future, i have no idea how things will turn out. In fact i don't even know how long i can last in the ashram. The way i look at is: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Story_of_My_Experiments_with_Truth" style="color: #5588aa; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">"An experiment with Truth"</a>. The question is how long can i survive the truth bugger. </div></div><div style="color: #999999; letter-spacing: 0.1em; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 0.75em 0px; text-transform: uppercase;"><div>POSTED BY A.J.<b style="background-color: #a0ffff; color: black;">ANTO</b> AT <a href="http://antorocks.blogspot.com/2009/04/this-american-life.html" rel="bookmark" style="color: #5588aa; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="permanent link"><abbr title="2009-04-22T03:53:00-07:00">3:53 AM</abbr></a> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=8949006&postID=2113465166913537315" style="color: #5588aa; text-decoration: none ! important;" target="_blank" title="Email Post"><img alt="" height="13" src="img/icon18_email.gif" style="border: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin-left: 0.5em ! important; margin-right: 0px ! important; margin-top: 0px ! important; padding: 4px;" width="18" /></a></div><div>LABELS: <a href="http://antorocks.blogspot.com/search/label/isha%20foundation" rel="tag" style="color: #5588aa; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">ISHA FOUNDATION</a></div><div></div></div></div><div><a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=8949006&postID=6538149149871004788" name="127fd9b303d4545c_121da0308bb8988e_comments"></a><br />
<h4 style="color: #999999; font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: 0.2em; line-height: 1.4em; margin: 1em 0px; text-transform: uppercase;">7 COMMENTS:</h4><dl style="line-height: 1.6em; margin: 1em 0px 1.5em;"><dt style="background-repeat: no-repeat; line-height: 16px; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding-left: 20px;"> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=8949006&postID=6538149149871004788" name="127fd9b303d4545c_121da0308bb8988e_c4944925668942720601"></a><a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05519896830485484452" rel="nofollow" style="color: #5588aa; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Anbu</a> said...</dt>
<dd style="margin: 0.25em 0px 0px;"><div style="margin: 0px 0px 0.75em;">Humbling to read! Wish u all the strength u need for the experiential experiment.</div></dd><dd style="letter-spacing: 0.1em; line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 2em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; text-transform: uppercase;"><a href="http://antorocks.blogspot.com/2009/04/this-american-life.html?showComment=1240408380000#c4944925668942720601" style="color: #5588aa; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="comment permalink">6:53 AM</a></dd>
<dt style="background-repeat: no-repeat; line-height: 16px; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding-left: 20px;"> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=8949006&postID=6538149149871004788" name="127fd9b303d4545c_121da0308bb8988e_c3235653522150749512"></a><a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/00881045850948330042" rel="nofollow" style="color: #5588aa; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Deepak</a> said...</dt>
<dd style="margin: 0.25em 0px 0px;"><div style="margin: 0px 0px 0.75em;">All the very best <b style="background-color: #a0ffff; color: black;">Anto</b>!! This was always coming for you wasn't it? The only question was WHEN - and here it is now! Well, if there is any dream that is worth pursuing, it is the dream of ending all dreams - and very few people have the courage to do it. I will look back at you and folks like you as inspiration when I come to the cross roads (end of the road?) And yes, for your sake, I hope your parents at least come to peace with your decision if not what you're hoping for.</div></dd><dd style="letter-spacing: 0.1em; line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 2em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; text-transform: uppercase;"><a href="http://antorocks.blogspot.com/2009/04/this-american-life.html?showComment=1240413600000#c3235653522150749512" style="color: #5588aa; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="comment permalink">8:20 AM</a></dd>
<dt style="background-repeat: no-repeat; line-height: 16px; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding-left: 20px;"> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=8949006&postID=6538149149871004788" name="127fd9b303d4545c_121da0308bb8988e_c7057754017139189361"></a><a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05571515679795620297" rel="nofollow" style="color: #5588aa; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Priyanka</a> said...</dt>
<dd style="margin: 0.25em 0px 0px;"><div style="margin: 0px 0px 0.75em;">Hope it works out for you... my best wishes!</div></dd><dd style="letter-spacing: 0.1em; line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 2em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; text-transform: uppercase;"><a href="http://antorocks.blogspot.com/2009/04/this-american-life.html?showComment=1240731360000#c7057754017139189361" style="color: #5588aa; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="comment permalink">12:36 AM</a></dd>
<dt style="background-repeat: no-repeat; line-height: 16px; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding-left: 20px;"> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=8949006&postID=6538149149871004788" name="127fd9b303d4545c_121da0308bb8988e_c35669808429778815"></a><a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/10304967330434727420" rel="nofollow" style="color: #5588aa; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Espan</a> said...</dt>
<dd style="margin: 0.25em 0px 0px;"><div style="margin: 0px 0px 0.75em;">For whatever reason I feel incredibly angry on u... I have known for sometime now this kinda decision comes outta an experience that I haven't undergone. Yet, I couldn't suppress the feeling that you are a shade too selfish when you make this decision. End of the day it is ur life but it amazes me that u have the nerve to ask ur family to accept this. It might be in their karma to undergo this but I just don't believe even for one moment that they will be happy with what u r doing:) Anyways... as your friend.. I am obliged to wish you best in whatever path u choose. Hope to meet u sometime :)!</div></dd><dd style="letter-spacing: 0.1em; line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 2em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; text-transform: uppercase;"><a href="http://antorocks.blogspot.com/2009/04/this-american-life.html?showComment=1240757700000#c35669808429778815" style="color: #5588aa; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="comment permalink">7:55 AM</a></dd>
<dt style="background-repeat: no-repeat; line-height: 16px; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding-left: 20px;"> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=8949006&postID=6538149149871004788" name="127fd9b303d4545c_121da0308bb8988e_c2136817925962594735"></a><a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/15231159303294074179" rel="nofollow" style="color: #5588aa; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Anupama</a> said...</dt>
<dd style="margin: 0.25em 0px 0px;"><div style="margin: 0px 0px 0.75em;"><b style="background-color: #a0ffff; color: black;">Anto</b>, wish you a very Happy Life at IYC. :-) Truly humbling to read this.</div></dd><dd style="letter-spacing: 0.1em; line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 2em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; text-transform: uppercase;"><a href="http://antorocks.blogspot.com/2009/04/this-american-life.html?showComment=1240836300000#c2136817925962594735" style="color: #5588aa; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="comment permalink">5:45 AM</a></dd>
<dt style="background-repeat: no-repeat; line-height: 16px; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding-left: 20px;"> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=8949006&postID=6538149149871004788" name="127fd9b303d4545c_121da0308bb8988e_c5509725600645471023"></a><a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/16419184463125912867" rel="nofollow" style="color: #5588aa; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Prasanna</a> said...</dt>
<dd style="margin: 0.25em 0px 0px;"><div style="margin: 0px 0px 0.75em;"><b style="background-color: #a0ffff; color: black;">Anto</b>, What a superb decision! I am proud to have known you :) All the very best!</div></dd><dd style="letter-spacing: 0.1em; line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 2em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; text-transform: uppercase;"><a href="http://antorocks.blogspot.com/2009/04/this-american-life.html?showComment=1240940100000#c5509725600645471023" style="color: #5588aa; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="comment permalink">10:35 AM</a></dd>
<dt style="background-repeat: no-repeat; line-height: 16px; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding-left: 20px;"> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=8949006&postID=6538149149871004788" name="127fd9b303d4545c_121da0308bb8988e_c2077154460392361901"></a><a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/11573687427603781397" rel="nofollow" style="color: #5588aa; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Aditya Nishtala</a> said...</dt>
<dd style="margin: 0.25em 0px 0px;"><div style="margin: 0px 0px 0.75em;">It is so wonderful to hear this from you...and it makes it even more special because I knew you from day 1 in the first Isha Yoga Program which we did it together(What a porgram that was!!!)....from then on we did all the programs at the same time.... I know that whoever is touched by his grace wud anyway go to him...and I am happy that it is u r time against all the loving attention and concern of your parents not knowing that one day even they would be touched by him. Cheers Aditya Nishtala.</div></dd><dd style="letter-spacing: 0.1em; line-height: 1.4em; margin-bottom: 2em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; text-transform: uppercase;"><a href="http://antorocks.blogspot.com/2009/04/this-american-life.html?showComment=1241076300000#c2077154460392361901" style="color: #5588aa; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="comment permalink">12:25 AM</a></dd></dl></div></span></div>Ananthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13090898959915727183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949006.post-31289302048563496372009-12-14T05:19:00.001-08:002009-12-14T05:37:21.163-08:00Namesake, Kolkota and hot roshogollas<p align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7qlhntmlx5JygPE-NqS4En50d1kqVMtEW4fx2pBcPu8aPlXCxVg6SizG_9i6ShbuSZyFzbO1VsnKxvWnoizmORkRCce_IlA0Y_MqCnGTQIeo0jKII4BHd4vWKL0WufSO7EOWidw/s1600-h/namesake-poster-1.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5415081466376232210" style="WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7qlhntmlx5JygPE-NqS4En50d1kqVMtEW4fx2pBcPu8aPlXCxVg6SizG_9i6ShbuSZyFzbO1VsnKxvWnoizmORkRCce_IlA0Y_MqCnGTQIeo0jKII4BHd4vWKL0WufSO7EOWidw/s400/namesake-poster-1.jpg" border="0" /></a></p> I had been fascinated with Jhumpa Lahiri’s ‘<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Namesake">Namesake</a>’ for a while now and the fact that it was set in kolkota fascinated me even more. In what can only be termed as a strike of poetic justice, I was stuck in kolkota without any outbound tickets for 3 days with just one sathsang on my TODO roster. And that too, I was ‘stuck’ in a room which was pilled from the roof to the floor by the books belonging to the host collected over a period of 15+ years. I hadn’t got a chance to read a book for the last 6 months which is a very long time for me. I had also somehow managed to restrain myself from buying a paperback on those endless sojourns to the railway stations. As it turned out, I allowed myself to get lost for one more time into the papery world of words and phrases.<br />I thought ‘Namesake’ was extremely genuine, heartbreaking and thoroughly haunting. The novel starts with a young Bengali couple: Ashima and Ashoke moving to New England from Kolkota and starting a new life. The main focus however quickly turns out to be the psychological travails of their son Gogol. Those who have lived the fascinating life of inhabiting two worlds at the same time will relate to this movie. As I did.<br />Gogol Ganguli emerges as the centerpiece of the novel and its protagonist. Though in characterizing him, Jhumpa threads a potentially hackneyed theme, she paints a character so true and so genuine that I could vouch for the fact that I had known many Gogol’s myself. Ashima reckons that when she listens to her children with her eyes closed, sometimes she feels that she has given birth to strangers. Gogol grows to be an all-american youngster but is dragged east-bound by his parents who inhabit a different world altogether. His struggle is a stunning remainder that one’s cultural and other identities though a huge part of the experience that is life is nevertheless unfailing picked up from the outside. And that no matter how big an emotion these confusions and these yearning provokes, these identities are like chalk drawings on a blackboard which will be eventually wiped off the board leaving only a slight discoloration on the blackboard.<br />Perhaps what touches me the most is the heartbreaking predicament of Ashima as she pines for the brazen and perhaps what could be considered in the west as an almost uncouth closeness with her family. Being brought up in a world where there is no dearth of human contact, she ends up in the frozen North eastern corner of the US with a husband busy with his academics and with her children trying to organically confound the conundrum that is their life. Her loneliness and her parental yearning haunts every page of the book. I also suspect that there is a part of me which aches for my own mother as much as my heart aches for Ashima as I was reading the book.<br />These days, as I am endlessly traversing the lengths and breadths of the country, has been quite a revelation. One thing that amazes me is even after all the things that have transpired between me and my parents and even though my days are filled with tireless exhaustion unapologetically doing what I do, there is a corner within me which aches as I see my family writhe and wither in unnecessary pain, anguish, anger, heartache and humiliation. I am amazed that still I am hopeful, after all that they had done, that one day they will see Isha yoga for what it is independent of what it has done to their son. Is this my conscious responsibility or a manifestation of my own need for intimacy, I don’t know.<br />One of the more poignant moments of the novel is when Ashima decides to go back to Kolkota after the death of her husband. As they are packing and cleaning out their suburban house, she feels strangely lost. After decades of living in the US, she has the sadness of leaving something that is a part of one’s life. Also amazingly, she feels a little alien to her hometown Kolkota where she did all her growing up.<br />Overall Namesake succeeds as an authentic portrayal of a tiny Bengali-expatriate microcosm in the US. Their nostalgia, their thrills, their fascination and their heartbreak fills endearingly the pages of the book.<br />P.S: Just for the record, I had clocked 8500 kms in the last 2 months and this post was blogged from Chennai Central just before i catch my next train.Ananthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13090898959915727183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949006.post-28299311830508057952009-11-03T03:43:00.000-08:002009-11-09T01:42:11.017-08:00For the Love of Wilderness<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu_mszAWxs4ZVYJ5IThpv-t3cbSyj4uP8YSbe7T4D7uPE52w2YVuROEkLFFlPc6FHnaV-f6TNaoHxUivMYkkhktpvw-t-Myvb3Pca4-CAeQOA2wpbcrHSTpjFQiL9YRBUS9VieSQ/s1600-h/Bandera+mtn.jpg"></a><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:small;">On Sun, Oct 18, 2009 at 9:29 AM, Raghuram KR wrote:</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:arial;font-size:small;"><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="PADDING-LEFT: 1ex; MARGIN: 0px 0px 0px 0.8ex; BORDER-LEFT: rgb(204,204,204) 1px solid"><div>Hey Andhonee,</div><div></div><div>Just felt like sending you a mail today... Its been raining here crazily for last few 2-3 weeks now.. Have not been hiking during the rains this time.. but when you were here, i remember the enthu we had to go even in the rains :)</div><div>Thats when i thought i will just send you a mail.. Happy Deepavali to you :)</div><div></div><div>And tomorrow i am just going out on a hike probably alone to a far off place [mostly Ingalls Lake] inspite of the rain :) I will send you some pics when i come back....</div><div></div><div>Enjoy and take care.,,</div><div></div><div>-Raghu</div><div></div><div><br /></div></blockquote></span></div><div>An Open response to Raghu</div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn81KaAL6Pa8uIllVXbriUbLG9c9lMRQ0-PUNn7rsUpYQJWCSb5RigUTgQnpT8-SrOEfQXI40wruAVIkkTdof6rivmyXBSjZjR62I5tD9obudyLVU4Fld13N3X-65_ZlWLxYKAww/s1600-h/Mt.Stuart.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5399843503725283090" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 143px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn81KaAL6Pa8uIllVXbriUbLG9c9lMRQ0-PUNn7rsUpYQJWCSb5RigUTgQnpT8-SrOEfQXI40wruAVIkkTdof6rivmyXBSjZjR62I5tD9obudyLVU4Fld13N3X-65_ZlWLxYKAww/s400/Mt.Stuart.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div style="TEXT-ALIGN: left"><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: left">Dei Raghu,</div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: left">How are you da machi? I remember going to Ingall’s lake myself. I thought you also came for that hike along with pala. I posed for some of the most ‘mokkai aana’ pictures there. That time around it was frickin cold up there and the path was quite treacherous. Let me know how the hike was this time. I did see your pictures. They were quite similar to how I remember them. </div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: left">About the enthusiasm with which we would go to the mountains even in the rainy days, there are a lot of things unsaid which I thought I would share with you. (you being one of our own gang of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mountain_man">mountain men</a>). I know you don't care about big talk and big experiences but i thought i would share anyways!</div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: center">x---------------------------------x</div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: left">Hiking started very naturally for me. The first time I went to the US, it was in the middle of the hiking season. The sun was out for all the 4 weekends I was there and I think I probably made it to the hills on all the weekends. I don’t know whether I consciously decided to go hiking but I do remember relishing those experiences when I got back to India. So the next time I went to the US for a longer trip, somewhere I knew I would be paying my visits to the towering sentinels of the Pacific North West. Looking back it has been an essential part of my experience in the US. Almost as essential as Isha. I have a feeling maybe they were related…I don’t know. </div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: left">I have been to so many hikes those two years. Even if the weather was playing spoilsport, I would be the one nudging my roomies to come. I remember doing some of the hikes in pouring rain. Sometimes, we would decide to go on a day-hike as late as 2 PM in the afternoon. </div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: left">Looking back, all these hikes clearly fell into a pattern. In the first stage is an almost irrepressible need or desire to head for the hills. Not because you wanted to conquer the mountains but because somewhere in my experience I felt hiking to be a very intense experience. And this intensity was something that I was consciously seeking. Sometimes, I realized it was almost masochistic to put yourself to this meaningless ordeal of climbing up a mountain and climbing it down the same way. I distinctly remember some of these hikes were physically overwhelming. In some weird way, I used to enjoy being defeated by the mountain and the gravity. Every time, I come to a point where I reach the end of my physical capabilities, I taunt myself saying just this one next step and that’s it. And it has always been that one next step that takes you till the summit. </div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: left"><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: left"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNSrH-oDjpxOvZGjtiuPSgodh3hMZwAhO8c0WlJ7GOW1oRSPbzjPbPmmpXRhnO-N-Us1RQ-Ff7mcUoUW2Z2NHy3Uu1reWaQ37445E_-fHVC44chY11MIFUyEXvtuI1BOFGQuBEgg/s1600-h/squak.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5399845171472528114" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 364px; CURSOR: pointer; HEIGHT: 400px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNSrH-oDjpxOvZGjtiuPSgodh3hMZwAhO8c0WlJ7GOW1oRSPbzjPbPmmpXRhnO-N-Us1RQ-Ff7mcUoUW2Z2NHy3Uu1reWaQ37445E_-fHVC44chY11MIFUyEXvtuI1BOFGQuBEgg/s400/squak.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: left">Secondly, in some ways, being in the woods puts things in perspective. The forest never acknowledges your presence. It does not care for what you think. It does not care about that problem that you are brooding about. Its ways and the ways of physics are very raw and unforgiving. I found that subjecting myself to such rawness straightens me. Whatever mental nonsense that I seem to be carrying seems to vanish by the time I reach the top. Because of this, over a period of time, it was an avenue to forget myself. Forget my life, my struggles, my cravings, my limitations, my struggle to grow etc. Being in the mountains, somehow these doesn’t seem to matter and when I come back from the mountains, that little space is created between me and what I deal with. That little space was liberating. Somewhere in the seemingly endless hues of green, I lose myself. If for only a moment, what a leap that loss is!</div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: left">Finally there is one aspect of hiking which even if I think about gives me goose bumps. Initially when I headed for the hills, it was usually to watch and enjoy nature’s splendor. On an average Saturday morning, just to think about that lake or the pass or that valley was enough for me to spring out of my bed. There have been many occasions where I found myself getting up relatively earlier on weekends than on weekdays. Initially I savored the scenery. But over a period of time as the intensity between the beholder and the beloved deepened, it was more of a pain than anything else. There have been times when I have been on some of the trails, I was just so overwhelmed. Overwhelmed because on one level I was truly delighted and exhilarated to see the creation but on another level as much as I long for it, the distance between it and I was very distinct. After moving to the ashram, looking back at my experiences, I feel somewhere I had bowed down. What I bowed down to was immaterial but what matters was somehow I bowed down. Looking at the snow sprinkled Mt.Stuart across the Ingall’s lake or the endless meadows at Mt.Rainier, my being bent. I distinctly remember climbing the Carne mountain during late fall last year. The air was crisp and cool and the valley was drenched in fall colors. The hike was long and arduous and at the peak there was a 360 degree vista of craggy ridges and valleys and salt-and-pepper summits towering over the clouds. I had a tough time bottling my overwhelm to myself. This overpowering feeling boggled me initially. I had always thought that ‘a thing of beauty is a joy forever’. Why then, does beauty evoke such pain? But if I look at it now, it does make a lot of sense. Over a period of time, as the intensity of the rapture increases, it only leaves the subject longing for oneness with the object. And where the oneness isn’t there, pain is. </div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: left"><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: left"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu_mszAWxs4ZVYJ5IThpv-t3cbSyj4uP8YSbe7T4D7uPE52w2YVuROEkLFFlPc6FHnaV-f6TNaoHxUivMYkkhktpvw-t-Myvb3Pca4-CAeQOA2wpbcrHSTpjFQiL9YRBUS9VieSQ/s1600-h/Bandera+mtn.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5399845432299598306" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: pointer; HEIGHT: 300px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu_mszAWxs4ZVYJ5IThpv-t3cbSyj4uP8YSbe7T4D7uPE52w2YVuROEkLFFlPc6FHnaV-f6TNaoHxUivMYkkhktpvw-t-Myvb3Pca4-CAeQOA2wpbcrHSTpjFQiL9YRBUS9VieSQ/s400/Bandera+mtn.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNSrH-oDjpxOvZGjtiuPSgodh3hMZwAhO8c0WlJ7GOW1oRSPbzjPbPmmpXRhnO-N-Us1RQ-Ff7mcUoUW2Z2NHy3Uu1reWaQ37445E_-fHVC44chY11MIFUyEXvtuI1BOFGQuBEgg/s1600-h/squak.jpg"></a><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: left">I have always been a veritable nature lover. When I first landed in seattle, I had thought this was my dream city to live. In whatever little ways that I could imagine, Seattle seemed to fit my bill. Perpetually raining, a long brooding winter, an hour drive away from alpine paradises, endless greenery, occasional snows etc. During my last days in Seattle, there have been moments when there was a part of me arguing against my move to the ashram. I had sometimes told myself that even if I cannot enjoy my work at Microsoft, still I can bear it by looking forward to hitting the hills on the weekends. But over a period of time, the hiking experience itself was a remainder of my isolated existence. And those remainders definitely contributed to the <a href="http://antorocks.blogspot.com/2008/08/what-to-say.html">helplessness and the vulnerability</a> within me which eventually made me take the step that I took.</div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: left">Even now, an <a href="http://www.blupete.com/Literature/Poetry/WordsworthDaffodils.htm">occasional thing of beauty sweeps me off my feet</a> and I seem to remember why I am in the ashram.</div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: left"><br /></div><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: left">P.S: Just realized that I didn’t record my experiences of the Dhyanayatra in 2007. My memory (and unfortunately only that) tells me that it was a similar experience in some ways.</div><div>P.S2: All the photos are courtesy <a href="http://www.wta.org/">wta.org</a> and are places where we have been to. Top to bottom are Ingall's lake, Squak mountains and Bandera mountain.</div></div>Ananthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13090898959915727183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949006.post-54293446834850427912009-09-05T21:13:00.000-07:002009-09-05T21:17:53.538-07:00The Lost CauseAnto is a lost cause<br />This is what i seem to be telling my parents...<br />And more often than that, i find myself saying this to me as well.<br />.......<br /><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P._G._Wodehouse">P.G. Wodehouse</a> rocks. Got initiated into it while i was convalescing from a bout of viral fever in the ashram.Ananthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13090898959915727183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949006.post-87513214484043431502009-08-11T08:35:00.000-07:002009-08-11T09:14:02.279-07:00The Hunter and the huntedIt's been almost 2.5 months since i have moved to the ashram. And it has been all kinds of things. I have been doing a lot of random things lately. Like for instance the day before yesterday i was assigned the job of ushering the people from the village for whom the ashram is thrown open every Sunday. I watched in bemused wonderment as they all sat for a session on Project Green Hands. It was a pretty simple session where about a few hundred ppl sat under the big tree right next to the triangular block. But what amazed me was how the presenter conveyed the sense of urgency with such ease and humility. At one instance, he asked about what are all the problems they were facing in the villages. People said lack of rains, soil erosion etc etc. Then he asked them who is creating all this problems? They all magnanimously agreed that it was them in fact who is responsible. Just when you thought the presenter will applaud them for their sincerity, he said (shall i add in true Isha Style) "Aren't you ashamed?". At the end of the session, we distributed tree saplings to everyone who had come so that they can plant them at thier villages. Initially i was mighty perturbed that my uber-cool tamil will make it difficult for me to do this work but then once i got my hands dirty, there was no stopping me!<br />To be utterly frank, the move to the ashram has been quite difficulty as expected.<br />But when i fall dead on my bed in the night, i don't have an iota of doubt about rather doing something else. Blissful or tortured, that conviction is there always and that's what makes me get up the next day in the morning.<br />Couple of the photo-worthy moments every day:<br />1) Lying down in Shavasana after doing 25 surya namaskars just before Guru Pooja.<br />2) After the practices, taking the plunge into the icy Theertakund invoking the hunter to hunt me down.<br />3) Sitting at the temple after all the practices for that blissfull 25 minutes.<br />4) Serving food to all the ashramites at the Biksa Hall during the brunch. (And watching the Swami's and the Maa's eating the food)<br />5) Censored for the uninitiated!<br />Finally) Nodding "Wassup?" to Dharani, Vijay and a bemused Swami Trika at the water cooler just before we fall dead on the bed. :D<br /><br />P.S: When someone asks about how things were in the US/seattle, i usually say we do this and we do that as if i am still there. Just now Ananda Ala has culuminated in Hyderabad and i just feel i am all over the place!<br /><br />P.S1: A big shout-out to all in Seattle! I love you.Ananthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13090898959915727183noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949006.post-10057484831914767962009-06-10T06:06:00.000-07:002009-06-10T06:25:48.471-07:00The valley of the shadow of DeathAfter the anticipated (and maybe some unanticipated) fireworks, I have moved at the Isha yoga center. All i wish to share about the last few weeks is that it had made me cry for help. Made me go on my knees and beg for redemption. I had not prayed for anything since college. So this was a new thing for me. Strangely the psalmist of the <a href="http://nasb.scripturetext.com/psalms/23.htm">Psalm 23</a> shares my predicament.<br /><strong>A Psalm of David.</strong><br /><em>The LORD is my shepherd,I shall not want.</em><br /><em>He makes me lie down in green pastures;</em><br /><em>He leads me beside quiet waters.</em><br /><em>He restores my soul;</em><br /><em>He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake.</em><br /><em>Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,I fear no evil, </em><br /><em>for You are with me;Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.</em><br /><em>You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;</em><br /><em>You have anointed my head with oil;My cup overflows.</em><br /><em>Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,</em><br /><em>And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.</em><br />Also these last few weeks, it made me realize the following:<br />1) Life is taken for granted. I am afraid of death...Oh yes very much so.<br />2) Physical security is taken for granted unless it is threatened.<br />3) Sense and Intelligence is taken for granted. I was in one of the 'Christian' retreat in one of the leading Catholic retreat center in the world and during one of the session, I could not help tears in my eyes as i helplessly beheld innocent young men and women being perverted irresponsibly by brash morality and stunningly stupid simplitudes. After going through this nonsense, my resolve to go full-time only increased. This nonsensical S*H*I*T is bloody good manure.Ananthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13090898959915727183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949006.post-79351540657159581492009-02-01T16:31:00.000-08:002009-02-01T16:49:42.236-08:00<object width="480" height="295"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/zlfKdbWwruY&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/zlfKdbWwruY&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="295"></embed></object><br /><div><br /></div><div>I just realized that the song which accompanies <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlfKdbWwruY">Matt Harding's 2008 video</a> is an adaptation of Rabindranath Tagore's "Stream of Life":</div><div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Stream of Life </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">The same stream of life that runs through my veins night and day</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">runs through the world and dances in rhythmic measures. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">It is the same life that shoots in joy through the dust of the earth</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">in numberless blades of grass</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">and breaks into tumultuous waves of leaves and flowers. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">It is the same life that is rocked in the ocean-cradle of birth</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">and of death, in ebb and in flow. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">I feel my limbs are made glorious by the touch of this world of life.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">And my pride is from the life-throb of ages dancing in my blood this moment. </span></div><div><br /></div></div><div>Read the rest of Gitanjali here: <a href="http://www.schoolofwisdom.com/gitanjali.html">http://www.schoolofwisdom.com/gitanjali.html</a></div>Ananthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13090898959915727183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949006.post-42258151057041939852008-09-04T13:55:00.000-07:002008-09-04T15:42:18.348-07:00For the Love of the Retro<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVm4SpC42t0t6bSmnduwl6xeCBbn2rUS_0HG99IdjjOFM1QeFUZqTlIWAcM4YTntnYvNp5HAUnV0QZoLyFmMju-SwO73OOQN1zZ0i7LkYQbomUvHjbfdb2VxHPmzkwuW-tV3wVPg/s1600-h/Alaipayuthey.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVm4SpC42t0t6bSmnduwl6xeCBbn2rUS_0HG99IdjjOFM1QeFUZqTlIWAcM4YTntnYvNp5HAUnV0QZoLyFmMju-SwO73OOQN1zZ0i7LkYQbomUvHjbfdb2VxHPmzkwuW-tV3wVPg/s400/Alaipayuthey.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5242272944017410658" border="0" /></a>
<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Cantoamj%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Cantoamj%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link rel="colorSchemeMapping" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Cantoamj%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp/> <w:dontbreakconstrainedforcedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> <w:word11kerningpairs/> <w:cachedcolbalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathpr> <m:mathfont val="Cambria Math"> <m:brkbin val="before"> <m:brkbinsub val="--"> <m:smallfrac val="off"> <m:dispdef/> <m:lmargin val="0"> <m:rmargin val="0"> <m:defjc val="centerGroup"> <m:wrapindent val="1440"> <m:intlim val="subSup"> <m:narylim val="undOvr"> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" defunhidewhenused="true" defsemihidden="true" defqformat="false" defpriority="99" latentstylecount="267"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="0" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Normal"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="heading 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 7"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 8"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 9"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 7"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 8"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 9"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="35" qformat="true" name="caption"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="10" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="1" name="Default Paragraph Font"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="11" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtitle"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="22" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Strong"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="20" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="59" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Table Grid"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Placeholder Text"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="1" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="No Spacing"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Revision"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="34" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="List Paragraph"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="29" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Quote"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="30" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Quote"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="19" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtle Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="21" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="31" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtle Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="32" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="33" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Book Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="37" name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"Cambria Math"; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:1; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-format:other; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 0 0 0 0 0;} @font-face {font-family:Calibri; panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1073750139 0 0 159 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} a:link, span.MsoHyperlink {mso-style-priority:99; color:blue; mso-themecolor:hyperlink; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} a:visited, span.MsoHyperlinkFollowed {mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; color:purple; mso-themecolor:followedhyperlink; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} p.MsoListParagraph, li.MsoListParagraph, div.MsoListParagraph {mso-style-priority:34; mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:.5in; mso-add-space:auto; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} p.MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst, li.MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst, div.MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst {mso-style-priority:34; mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-type:export-only; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:0in; margin-left:.5in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-add-space:auto; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} p.MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle, li.MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle, div.MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle {mso-style-priority:34; mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-type:export-only; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:0in; margin-left:.5in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-add-space:auto; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} p.MsoListParagraphCxSpLast, li.MsoListParagraphCxSpLast, div.MsoListParagraphCxSpLast {mso-style-priority:34; mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-type:export-only; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:.5in; mso-add-space:auto; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} .MsoPapDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; margin-bottom:10.0pt; line-height:115%;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:543257342; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:1410209850 67698705 67698713 67698715 67698703 67698713 67698715 67698703 67698713 67698715;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-text:"%1\)"; mso-level-tab-stop:none; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">For the last few days, I am listening to some great rock music from the early 80’s. The one which got me hooked was <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSHzga_DFxs">“Tunnel of love”</a> by the Dire straits. I first heard their music in the film <a href="http://antorocks.blogspot.com/2008/05/officer-and-gentleman.html">“An officer and a gentleman”</a>. The <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Outro">outro</a> of this song was used so wonderfully in a scene where two former lovers meet when one of them is going after another person after they break up. This scene particularly interested me so much that I decided to watch it along with the director’s comments. Taylor Hackford mentions that it is one of his proudest scenes ever. Wikipedia describes the outro of “Tunnel of love” as one of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tunnel_of_Love_%28song%29">most heartbreaking guitar pieces</a>. I agree whole-heartedly. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">It is one of those musical moments which makes your heart ache and makes your being crave for something more than a cursory slice of life. An intense forlorn mood is designedly created by the plaintive guitar that is fierce yet subtle. This is not just this piece, there are a lot of instances where a piece of music has stinged my being to the core. When I look at this, in a way I can say this feeling of desolation is also one of longing. Not longing for anything in particular, Just longing. A frantic passion without a specific object. In fact I have noticed this quality within myself whenever I come in contact with something of an artistic quality, anything of enduring beauty. Some touching phrases of Tagore’s <a href="http://www.cs.rice.edu/%7Essiyer/minstrels/poems/1715.html">Geetanjali</a>. A Painting by an Impressionist master. <a href="http://antorocks.blogspot.com/2004/11/naach-celebrating-life.html">A heart-warming movie</a>. All these works definitely evoke such feelings within me. What interests me is somehow the art endears itself to me even when the context of the work is so alien to me. <span style=""> </span>Like in some of the movies that I have relished, I am truly not able to empathize with neither the story nor the characters. But still the empathy is there with the creator of the work. At this point I feel that my ability to express things is kind of stretched if not decapitated. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Any ways I feel like listing down my recent ‘crushes’. I feel the word crush kind of suits the scenario as indeed true art crushes me. It makes you feel helpless and vulnerable. Maybe sad and melancholic. But inevitably beautiful and intense.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style=""><span style="">1)<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->An Indian violinist arranges a classical piece <a href="http://prasannasv.livejournal.com/8784.html">“Mokshamu” for a western style quartet</a>. I really don’t understand the technicalities of the work but it does not matter. The music speaks to me as clearly as my mother’s voice.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style=""><span style="">2)<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->A contemporary version of “Samaja Varagamana” featured in the album of the film “Morning Raga”. In the film, the song is picturized using an instrumental version (violin) of the song in the background. Man, that was awesome! After listening to this, even the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQrpiPnlZWg">classical version rocks</a>!</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style=""><span style="">3)<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><a href="http://www.abcgallery.com/P/pissaro/pissaro57.html">Woman Hanging Laundry:</a> Or any painting by Camille Pissarro if accompanied by a commentary! </p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style=""><span style="">4)<span style=";font-family:";font-size:7;" > </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Some random phrases from what I consider as a masterpiece among Tagore’s novels: <a href="http://books.google.com/books?id=PMZNqhrTR7QC&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_summary_r&cad=0">Gora</a>: <span style="font-style: italic;">"...They were not aware, as they talked on, when the moon descended behind the roofs, and its place was taken by a faint hint of light in the east, like the smile on the face of a sleeping child...."</span>
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<br />Ananthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13090898959915727183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949006.post-9131044286538951142008-08-19T20:15:00.000-07:002008-08-19T20:49:40.986-07:00What to say??!<span style="font-style: italic;">Water Water everywhere not a drop to drink.</span><br />It is all around me. Yet I cannot savor it. Every breath is a sigh. Every act is a desperation. Every persona a desperado.<br />Stunning scenery feeds the senses. Pathos that could stab the heart. Music that could melt the being. Yet why is it fleeting? Without the ability to grasp life and its dappled experiences, my life looks like one long feverish intercourse without a climax!<br />Somewhere I have read that "Meditation is the only freedom". As the unrelenting ticks of the clock click away, I can feel the truth of these words in my veins. Indeed Meditation or rather Death is the only freedom.<br /><br />P.S: I don't expect anyone to understand this post. If you think you feel what I am saying feel free to say something. If you think I am suicidal, well you are wrong. And back off.Ananthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13090898959915727183noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949006.post-26779036405687107632008-08-12T22:39:00.000-07:002008-08-12T22:54:58.375-07:00CashbackA heartfelt 'artistic' movie which makes you think. The protagonist is an talented artist who get insomniac after a painful breakup. He works in the night shift of a grocery story to fast forward his sleepless nights. There, he devises a way to stop time and appreciate the beauty that is there in the moment and in its subjects. Amazing use of an cinematic device (freezing time) to make us aware of the beauty that the artist beholds. How everyday objects become profound when you see them frozen in a moment.<br />Could empathize with the insomniac artist. Both artistic and blatant nudity juxtaposed to achieve stunning effects. British cinema is amazingly unapologetic and I love that!<br />I loved the closing line of the movie: "Once upon a time,I wanted to know what love was.Love is there,If you want it to be.You just have to see,That it's wrapped in beauty,And hidden away between the seconds of your life.If you don't stop for a minute,You might miss it."<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr8j0C0HitOkHj93kIC7QKI-uB5pbOVdMTjUeIwiBH39rWRvzjj_Q-2oLv00NBnk0LT4OfiejkwGcyCdjD-fc8yapYk-uWKadut_oZPKqf77dbqdfdr1k0MGjR_qKAat9odqWO7A/s1600-h/cashback4.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr8j0C0HitOkHj93kIC7QKI-uB5pbOVdMTjUeIwiBH39rWRvzjj_Q-2oLv00NBnk0LT4OfiejkwGcyCdjD-fc8yapYk-uWKadut_oZPKqf77dbqdfdr1k0MGjR_qKAat9odqWO7A/s400/cashback4.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5233875770451993746" border="0" /></a>Ananthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13090898959915727183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949006.post-74129005248982940982008-07-28T19:12:00.000-07:002008-07-28T20:16:02.420-07:00One intoxicating whiff after anotherOne thing I distinctly realize during the teachers training is that just because you are a volunteer or a teacher in a class that doesn't mean you assume what is being told in the class. You don't even give importance to the fact that at some earlier point what they told you awed you. The most important thing is to be open enough to 'look' at it afresh at that point.<br />Sometime during the final days of volunteering in Hyderabad, especially when i had to travel very long distances to attend the weekday evening sessions of the Inner Engineering program, I used to taunt myself saying that this time since I am traveling so long, I will try to find some hole in what transpires in the class. This is not a suspicion. Not even an prejudice. Rather an insurance. As I began to walk this path, it dawned upon me that I have to pay a certain price. Not just me. Even people around me had to pay a certain price. And i wanted to be sure of what i am getting into! :D I don't think it is necessary for me to even venture forth whether i was even remotely close to success! ;-)<br /><div style="text-align: center;">--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /></div>I know I can be perceived as cloyingly modest and desperately unemotional when I say that the most important reason for <a href="http://www.ishafoundation.org/index.php?option=com_program&task=details&program_id=909">the class</a> to happen is myself. But that is the truth.<br /><div style="text-align: center;">--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /></div>I experienced a certain powerful situation this weekend. I was manning an Isha booth in a telugu event in seattle. We were advertising the upcoming Inner Engineering program. I KNOW that what I was offering in the form of a IE post card is the most sacred thing in my life. I KNOW the chances of even a single person coming for the program because of this booth is slim. I KNOW that people's indifference/prejudice/apathy to the possibility that we were offering stings at the very core of my being. But still I did it. I don't know what it was or why it was that way but those moments where i was doing the simple act of giving the post cards were very powerful. While i was standing at the doorstep I watched a reflection of myself at the glass door. I was impeccably dressed with a belt et al. I could'nt help laughing at that moment. What have I done to myself? Why am i the way i am? It felt awesome to know that i am not in the driving seat of my life. It really didn't make much sense. Even now it doesn't. But I cannot help notice the uncontainable exuberance that comes with being a passenger. The vulnerability of it all is deviously calming. The best part was to consider that the other person who was manning the booth was a recent meditator who did the program because he himself got handed out a post card for the previous Inner engineering program in a similar event.<br /><div style="text-align: center;">--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><div style="text-align: left; font-style: italic;">Oh what can i say? Oh what can i say?<br />Just to be here, i am ready to melt away.<br />I cannot handle it alone, that divine glance.<br />Come join this simpleton in this insane dance.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Yes! I cannot but share this sweet burden.</span><br /></div></div><div style="text-align: center;">--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /></div>Truth. Truth. Truth. One thing that amazed me when listening to the discourses during the Inner Engineering program is how can Truth be so liberating? Being an engineer, I was so used to this notion that the reality is not okay the way it is. It needs to be fixed, worked upon or engineered to suit man's needs. For most of my waking moments as an engineer, the reality is a Pri 1 bug that needs to be fixed! :D That reality is so obvious that it is not worth considering. What needs to be considered is the end-result of what one wants. <a href="http://www.ishafoundation.org/innerEngineering">The program</a> blew my world inside out. The more I see it the more obvious it is that it is the naked truth that can set me free. The evil part of me is posing this question to myself: Ok. You are a truth seeker because you see that truth liberates you. Would be still be a seeker of truth if truth makes you sad and bitter? I am ROTFL'ing.<br /><div style="text-align: center;">--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><div style="text-align: left;">Verbal Diarrhea: The most meaningful phrase! (Sorry Gokri!)<br /></div></div>Ananthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13090898959915727183noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949006.post-11812262249000270932008-06-12T20:24:00.000-07:002008-06-12T20:32:06.109-07:00Blight or Blessing<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixaHlrjT24GptSx151zEHbNkarUdgt8igV1be8YvbYbGUneF9uE2O8iK1OYu3ZRQKMvG3XyuI8ZOtmuHpQgpniJgtP_GR6BdGp1gkjODGUZhZ10MUGvUhVyhUgEEDlCREt3Uhsmw/s1600-h/meditation.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixaHlrjT24GptSx151zEHbNkarUdgt8igV1be8YvbYbGUneF9uE2O8iK1OYu3ZRQKMvG3XyuI8ZOtmuHpQgpniJgtP_GR6BdGp1gkjODGUZhZ10MUGvUhVyhUgEEDlCREt3Uhsmw/s400/meditation.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211202167674534578" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://cgfa.sunsite.dk/j/p-jawlensky3.htm">Alexei Jawlensky: Meditation</a><br /><br />What bigger tedium can befall anyone?<br />It’s noon. I am lying in my bed and I am trying to enumerate any possible reason which can nudge me to get up and face the day.<br /><br />The night passed as a torpid reverie.<br />Torpidity of the mind and the body.<br />Lame retorts for a lamer jocularity.<br />Dragged to incredible lengths is the night.<br />By the spectacle of weary delusions of a wearier psyche.<br />One only wants to prolong the night in the hope that first light may never come.<br />Really, is there anything more hopeless than staying awake dreading the dawn?<br /><br />The noon stings the eyes with its sizzling diligence.<br />The ennui is inescapable now.<br />The routine smirks at the puzzle of Free will.<br />The same question everyday: What the hell am I doing?<br /><br />The mind struggles:<br />Is this sloth? It has to be the wrong vocation.<br />Why this indifference?<br />Your bread has to be earned, you know…<br />The other bank always looks greener…<br />Its actually tougher there…<br />He is crazy..She is crazy…That is wrong…This is not true…<br /><br />Trying to comprehend what is happening.<br />YOU TOLD ME WHAT IS WRONG. YOU FORGOT TO TELL ME WHAT IS TRUE?<br />With No crutch to lean on to, am afraid.<br />Fear is fine. Falsehood is not.<br />My Contemplation is mocked by my own feeling that the answer is ridiculously obvious and simple.<br />Want to thrash my own self to the ground in hope of awakening myself.<br />Am waiting.Ananthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13090898959915727183noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949006.post-44024758256197748872008-06-02T13:31:00.000-07:002008-06-02T14:26:01.515-07:00A Swirling Bundle of Suprise!<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKwZHU1jTL_5IOJ9xrnXqCK9rIigjWdP7gQwChnSQ6g0yD1Hsh5ziokXca3T7iCfp8Pi7NJAU_89wgACzoq-TlH-Biw2DkCSHzi0tJ52L_dLLGC9AQL2Mgf_9OD_NA4wuxuwR5WA/s1600-h/Melancholy,_1891_Edvard_Munch.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKwZHU1jTL_5IOJ9xrnXqCK9rIigjWdP7gQwChnSQ6g0yD1Hsh5ziokXca3T7iCfp8Pi7NJAU_89wgACzoq-TlH-Biw2DkCSHzi0tJ52L_dLLGC9AQL2Mgf_9OD_NA4wuxuwR5WA/s400/Melancholy,_1891_Edvard_Munch.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5207397341867184818" border="0" /></a>
<br /></div><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Cantoamj%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Cantoamj%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link rel="colorSchemeMapping" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Cantoamj%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp/> <w:dontbreakconstrainedforcedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> <w:word11kerningpairs/> <w:cachedcolbalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathpr> <m:mathfont val="Cambria Math"> <m:brkbin val="before"> <m:brkbinsub val="--"> <m:smallfrac val="off"> <m:dispdef/> <m:lmargin val="0"> <m:rmargin val="0"> <m:defjc val="centerGroup"> <m:wrapindent val="1440"> <m:intlim val="subSup"> <m:narylim val="undOvr"> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" defunhidewhenused="true" defsemihidden="true" defqformat="false" defpriority="99" latentstylecount="267"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="0" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Normal"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="heading 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 7"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 8"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 9"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 7"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 8"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 9"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="35" qformat="true" name="caption"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="10" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="1" name="Default Paragraph Font"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="11" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtitle"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="22" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Strong"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="20" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="59" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Table Grid"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Placeholder Text"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="1" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="No Spacing"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Revision"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="34" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="List Paragraph"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="29" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Quote"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="30" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Quote"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="19" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtle Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="21" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="31" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtle Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="32" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="33" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Book Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="37" name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"Cambria Math"; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:1; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-format:other; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 0 0 0 0 0;} @font-face {font-family:Calibri; panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1073750139 0 0 159 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} a:link, span.MsoHyperlink {mso-style-priority:99; color:blue; mso-themecolor:hyperlink; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} a:visited, span.MsoHyperlinkFollowed {mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; color:purple; mso-themecolor:followedhyperlink; text-decoration:underline; text-underline:single;} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} .MsoPapDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; margin-bottom:10.0pt; line-height:115%;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">Painting: <a href="http://muse.calarts.edu/%7Erjaster/edvard-munch/gallery/love/melancoly.htm">Melancholy By Edvard Munch</a>.
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">It is not always that I get hit by a swirling bundle of surprise! A nice surprise that is. One night just before I was leaving to LA for what will probably be my last sathsang outside Seattle, I came upon this article in Google Web Alert: <a href="http://www.freewebs.com/chinswe/myblog.htm?blogentryid=3465788">http://www.freewebs.com/chinswe/myblog.htm?blogentryid=3465788</a></p> <p class="MsoNormal">This turned out to be not yet another story for the budding <a href="http://ishas.blogspot.com/2008/05/hyderabad-blues.html">Ishas blog</a>! As I was reading the candid (and almost funny) sharing from someone out there, I could not help the tears washing my cheeks. ‘Chiswe’ reminded me of myself in so many ways. Like this one for example: “gud (god)was tired and legs were paining lik hell” and “told swami that i am getting angry after yoga “. I was laughing my head out and I was crying in the sheer empathy of it all.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I don’t know the person who wrote the blog but I know that he was sharing his experiences of volunteering in the Madhapur center in Hyderabad. Well Madhapur is where we were living when we were in Hyderabad. And Madhapur is the Isha Yoga center which we helped to start from scratch. Try as I might, I cannot help feeling a strand of attachment to it. Any other sharing would not have touched me like the way it did just because it was not from the center which we helped establish. I knew that this attachment borne out of one’s action is far from the ideal which I am working towards. But I thought I would allow myself to relish the moment. It is moments like these that brighten up my own vagabond life. It’s living these moments that somehow numb my mind out of all the questions that tug my heart and my mind. But when I look at it deeper, it is also in these moments that I see in painful clarity the bleakness of my own existence and the source of all these questions.</p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://antorocks.blogspot.com/2007/08/coming-to-america.html">My own voice haunts me:</a></p> <p class="MsoNormal">“How long can I last here? How long can I make sense of the Routine and drag on? What happens if somebody in Chennai decides to confront me with my marriage? Will I give in? If I hold out, how long? I am continuously been confronted by the immensity of these questions that stare at my face. Boggled I am by the stunning non-chalance with which I choose not to answer these questions and leave my life to the wayward ways of time. “</p> <p class="MsoNormal">How much longer? (I am shouting expletives to myself in my head!)</p><p class="MsoNormal">Shambho is all that I can say.</p> Ananthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13090898959915727183noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949006.post-57324410970568654422008-05-22T16:29:00.000-07:002008-05-22T16:38:39.455-07:00An Officer and a Gentleman<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlH1UxH38eVm6Z_4u9awdUA0OK65xKF-H9tqtl6-kgTpTaVDkixnHjy3uL3cDXJaxCCv1-RS5SHQ7VvEzBUcXTuMVq_3AOYR3DCUx1gCRFX2WwN29sv6UWt_3L_FTJbhVKE7apkw/s1600-h/An+offier+and+a+Gentleman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlH1UxH38eVm6Z_4u9awdUA0OK65xKF-H9tqtl6-kgTpTaVDkixnHjy3uL3cDXJaxCCv1-RS5SHQ7VvEzBUcXTuMVq_3AOYR3DCUx1gCRFX2WwN29sv6UWt_3L_FTJbhVKE7apkw/s400/An+offier+and+a+Gentleman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5203349141117437170" border="0" /></a>
<br />
<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Cantoamj%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="Edit-Time-Data" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Cantoamj%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_editdata.mso"><!--[if !mso]> <style> v\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);} o\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);} w\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);} .shape {behavior:url(#default#VML);} </style> <![endif]--><link rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Cantoamj%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link rel="colorSchemeMapping" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Cantoamj%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp/> <w:dontbreakconstrainedforcedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> <w:word11kerningpairs/> <w:cachedcolbalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathpr> <m:mathfont val="Cambria Math"> <m:brkbin val="before"> <m:brkbinsub val="--"> <m:smallfrac val="off"> <m:dispdef/> <m:lmargin val="0"> <m:rmargin val="0"> <m:defjc val="centerGroup"> <m:wrapindent val="1440"> <m:intlim val="subSup"> <m:narylim val="undOvr"> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" defunhidewhenused="true" defsemihidden="true" defqformat="false" defpriority="99" latentstylecount="267"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="0" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Normal"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="heading 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 7"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 8"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 9"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 7"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 8"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 9"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="35" qformat="true" name="caption"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="10" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="1" name="Default Paragraph Font"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="11" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtitle"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="22" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Strong"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="20" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="59" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Table Grid"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Placeholder Text"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="1" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="No Spacing"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Revision"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="34" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="List Paragraph"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="29" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Quote"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="30" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Quote"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="19" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtle Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="21" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="31" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtle Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="32" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="33" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Book Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="37" name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} @font-face {font-family:"Cambria Math"; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1107304683 0 0 159 0;} @font-face {font-family:Calibri; panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1073750139 0 0 159 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} .MsoPapDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; margin-bottom:10.0pt; line-height:115%;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">What a refreshingly delightful movie this was! I distinctly remember seeing this movie in Doordarshan metro channel back in India when I was doing my, let me guess, 6<sup>th</sup> standard. I didn’t quite recollect the story of the movie but I did distinctly remember having a feeling of intense satiation. It was because of this, that after almost 15 years that when I got my Netflix subscription, this was one of the movies that I wanted to watch.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I must say watching this movie after all these years; it left me with the same feeling. It was almost like a time-trap! When I was watching the movie yesterday on my couch at my Redmond apartment, it was almost as if I was sitting on that netted sofa back in Chennai home. I could almost smell the heavy humid Chennai air. Strange are the ways of the mind!</p> <p class="MsoNormal">In my opinion at the heart of the movie is the stark nakedness with which the director portrays reality. Whether it is the womanizing father who cannot come in terms with the reality that he has a son to take care of or whether it is the dilemma which haunts Paula (the heroine) when she realizes that by falling in love with the navy hotshot she almost became the so called ‘Puget-deb’, the stark nakedness in which the situations, the emotions and the plot is depicted is so endearing. The movie does not make any effort to justify nor explain away any of the actions done by the people in the drama. Thankfully it does not even dwell on the glory of the navy tradition more than it is necessary. Compare that with some of the movies like ‘Top Gun’ which even though I found it likable was almost like a clever advertisement for US Navy!</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Richard Gere. Oh My God! What an excellent choice to play the role of the stoic self-centered marine wannabe who is the result of a little domestic disaster. I don’t know which I liked better: the way Richard Gere acted in the movie or the iconic character that he portrayed. The character that Richard Gere portrays: Zach Mayo or “Mayonnaise” is almost like a conundrum. Zack is stoic and repressed in childhood, self-centered and motivated at the beginning of the training and towards the end almost develops a sense of comradeship. During the course of the movie, we see Zack being haunted by the disappointments of his past and finally how he faces them. We learn about this when he lets go of his stoicism and opens up to Debra when they are in intimacy. In a way, I see the whole movie as somehow depicting the coming-of-age of Zack. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Contrast that with the character of Paula played by the oh-so-charming Debra Winger. <span style=""> </span>She declares unapologetically that every day she sees her mother, she knows what she does not want from her life. She wants to be an ‘aviator’ wife and fly out of the conservative factory town where she is stuck now. Initially shown in tandem with Lynette who shares the same dream as Paula but as the story progresses, the fork in their characters comes out so distinctly at the same time so unjudgingly. While Lynette schemes of trapping Sid into matrimony, who happens to be Zack’s buddy just as Paula is Lynette’s, by claiming she is pregnant, Paula is just inclined to have a good time. After this episode, Paula is in a dilemma. If she expresses her true love for Zack (which she eventually develops) she will reduce to the position of Lynette in the eyes of Zack. The plot somehow unravels rather fluently. <span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The genuineness of the characters almost touches you. As does the humble plot. I guess that’s why I really liked the movie. I must admit perhaps the story is disgusting. So is the character of Zack sometimes. But the sheer genuineness and the classy feel is what perhaps pulls the whole movie through.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The screenplay is so effective yet so inconspicuous. I like it when things are effective yet it does not assert itself every now and then. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">The entire movie is shot our own Evergreen state of Washington. In fact almost always you see the roads are rain-washed and the outdoor shots are always set against the low-overhanging rain-clouds. <span style="font-family:Wingdings;"><span style="">J</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBS7mwX2yPXp83M1qkJCHqHjS2VK0FJ8e3rU1m9V0-Vzrye6wfVwEZMqBrhy9ospw4zo8GNkh3REGVBVlt7jDHMVycwAGznaO-IhnpX5QIgNSMpRPfm13Kqz_kOr19WOqocDmrQA/s1600-h/aha.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBS7mwX2yPXp83M1qkJCHqHjS2VK0FJ8e3rU1m9V0-Vzrye6wfVwEZMqBrhy9ospw4zo8GNkh3REGVBVlt7jDHMVycwAGznaO-IhnpX5QIgNSMpRPfm13Kqz_kOr19WOqocDmrQA/s400/aha.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5203349145412404482" border="0" /></a></p> <p class="MsoNormal">This post will not be complete without me saying about what I consider as the Aha moment of the movie. This is when Zack, dressed impeccable in the naval white uniform walks with steady gait becoming of a naval officer into the factory floor where Paula works. One can almost imagine his fleeting smile when he first sees Paula and then hugs her from behind and sweeps her off the floor and carries her to the outside. Then you see Zack carrying Paula towards the exit and Paula takes the navy hat off Zack and puts it on herself. At that moment the screen freezes and the iconic moment is made in the history of cinema and perhaps etched at the back of our minds!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> Ananthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13090898959915727183noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949006.post-54666382571456852012008-01-07T14:15:00.000-08:002008-01-07T14:42:09.577-08:00Nethi Nethi....This Saturday I watched the movie "tara zameen par". I liked the movie very much. Some portions of the movie elicited a lot of empathy from the audiences. When i look at the people around me during the movie, a lot of ppl were obviously moved with sympathy. As much as I know this could get me unpopular, I could not help myself from thinking on these lines: Where did this love for some fictional character come from? One moment people were all normal and then suddenly their eyes well up in the pity for a disabled boy. I was wondering if this love will be sustained in the same intensity as it is at this moment even if the boy becomes completely free of disability. If in fact love for a subject recedes at the moment the subject becomes a peer or superior in every way, then is this love or is it an emotional expression of condescension. Whether they have this kind of love for the person sitting in the next seat is questionable. In fact it stuns me when i see people who burst forth in emotion for some figment of imagination live in the utmost disregard for the person sitting next to him. Is this love? Or is this the ego expressing in the most subtle way?<br />Nethi Nethi...The Buddha said it right.Ananthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13090898959915727183noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949006.post-48655338770322832902007-11-12T19:44:00.000-08:002007-11-12T19:52:09.583-08:00Everything that is worth knowing is right here.I wonder what is it about the four walls, a bunch of dazed folks called participants, a handful of sober yet smiling volunteers and one graceful being called the teacher that makes it so special. For me it is like Life’s greatest struggles and questions are answered by just popping a pill (<a href="http://www.arrod.co.uk/essays/matrix.php">much like the red pill which Morpheus asks neo to take in the Matrix</a>). In fact it is more like popping a candy than a pill. Let alone a red pill. I distinctly remember the first time I went to Isha Yoga class for volunteering. This was immediately next to the program that I myself attended. It was like I had no choice. I had to be there. And I will bow down a million times to Lokanetra that he did not give me a choice. At that time, I was staying at madhapur and the class was happening at Begumpet. Since then I have been ‘hanging around’ whenever isha yoga programs have happened in Hyderabad.<br /><br />Sometimes, I am asking myself what is it that pulled me towards all the corners of the Hyderabad city. What is it? What makes us (There were typically 5 nuts who did this including myself)get up at 5 on a Sunday morning and cram into a share auto all the way to ameerpet. Maybe it is just to watch the beauty and the grace with which the Isha teachers carry themselves. Maybe it is the intellectual ride that the teacher takes us on. Maybe it is those profound anecdotes that make me laugh at myself as much as I laugh at the futility of Shankaran Pillai. Maybe it is the legendary Sunday morning games played with so much child-like abandon and love. Maybe it is the silence that lingers around me days after the initiation day volunteering. Maybe it is to sit clumsily on the floor pseudo-cross-legged as practically every muscle is aching and eat the leftovers of the initiation food with a renewed sense of reverence. Maybe it is to see the ocean of grateful/dazed/confused faces as they leave the initiation hall on Sunday. I have no god-damn idea. I just keep getting back to this space no matter where. Beyond a certain point, I could not attribute any reason to this. There was neither emotion nor ratiocination. It was just like an iron piece getting attracted to a magnet.<br /><br />Just being in the space of the class is so transforming. It is like I am getting a new zest for life. It is like every moment I can melt away into a dance. Sometimes I wonder why is that I feel so good after a class? Definitely one of the main reasons is that in the class, I see the fool that I am with a lot of limitations and with that realization comes the possibility that I can transcend that limitation. Initially the inescapable logic will overwhelm me. After some time, just entering the class room was enough to overwhelm me. No need for a question to be answered. No need for the aha moment. It was like Pavlov’s conditioned response. This indeed is my life biggest blessing. This came uncalled for. I really did not have any spiritual longing when I attended the first program with Jaggi. At that time, I was wallowing in my own desolate cynicism. I did not know what I was stepping into. Even now I don’t know where I am headed towards. But one thing I know is, this life has become incredibly sweet. Not because of something or someone. Senselessly sweet. I cannot claim that I am like this 24 X 7. But I know it is possible. It is like all things bright and beautiful is right here as I watch my life go by. It is just like I am sitting on a window seat on a bus. The bus goes through all kinds of places: the busy ameerpet, the calm banjara hills, the lovely roundabout at the KBR park. But I am sitting there by the bus window watching them go past like a dream. I don’t know if this is making sense to anybody. If this is possible <strong><em>to me</em></strong> for one moment, I know it is possible for the next moment and so on and so forth.<br />I could have never dreamed spirituality could be like this.<br />Why me? So many sincere seekers abound…why me? All I can do is bow down in speechless supplication.Ananthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13090898959915727183noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949006.post-9905063702157542932007-09-26T12:58:00.000-07:002007-09-26T13:07:05.101-07:00Looking at the blue horizon on an autumn evening, I embarked on a journey.<br />Setting my eyes on the orange end of the sky, I started walking with my heart burnin'.<br />Cos I wanted the light.<br />And i am not gonna give up without a fight.<br />Sensing my hopeless loiter,<br />I thought a car would get me there faster.<br /><br />I revved and zoomed through the lanes.<br />My eyes set on the fading sky.<br />A certain certitude came upon me.<br />Alas not for eternity.<br /><br />What can I call it this road?<br />It is slippery when I need to speed. It is car worthy and inviting when my car is broke.<br />How many more accidents do I need to understand that the road will not make me fly?<br />Rather it will continuously wind round and round this earth in a hopeless dance.<br />How many more mirages will I fall for?<br />How many more oases will feed my parched throat only to leave the drinker even more desolate?<br /><br />My car lay waste upon the sand as the sun sank over the horizon.<br />I collapsed on the tar. My body tired.<br />But it is not the tire that I am weary of.<br />It is the hopelessness of it all that stokes fire in me.<br />My heart aches and cries out. I want this light.Ananthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13090898959915727183noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8949006.post-16099372146427115142007-09-24T14:56:00.001-07:002007-09-24T14:56:54.777-07:00AngelI wanted to thank the <a href="http://ramsrules.blogspot.com/2006/07/one-unforgettable-night.html">angel</a> in the City of Angels itself. But then i forgot. Thought i would put <a href="http://www.lyrics007.com/Robbie%20Williams%20Lyrics/Angels%20Lyrics.html">Robbie williams's</a> Angels <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LF8unwxhNho">video embedded in my post</a>. Then i quickly decided that it was inappropriate.Then I found that the following post by Sriprasanna is exactly what i am looking for: <a href="http://prasannaslog.blogspot.com/2006/07/journey-with-angels.html">http://prasannaslog.blogspot.com/2006/07/journey-with-angels.html</a><br /><br />I know this is completly superfluous, unwarranted and somewhere awkward but here is me thanking you.Ananthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13090898959915727183noreply@blogger.com0