Thursday, June 12, 2008

Blight or Blessing


Alexei Jawlensky: Meditation

What bigger tedium can befall anyone?
It’s noon. I am lying in my bed and I am trying to enumerate any possible reason which can nudge me to get up and face the day.

The night passed as a torpid reverie.
Torpidity of the mind and the body.
Lame retorts for a lamer jocularity.
Dragged to incredible lengths is the night.
By the spectacle of weary delusions of a wearier psyche.
One only wants to prolong the night in the hope that first light may never come.
Really, is there anything more hopeless than staying awake dreading the dawn?

The noon stings the eyes with its sizzling diligence.
The ennui is inescapable now.
The routine smirks at the puzzle of Free will.
The same question everyday: What the hell am I doing?

The mind struggles:
Is this sloth? It has to be the wrong vocation.
Why this indifference?
Your bread has to be earned, you know…
The other bank always looks greener…
Its actually tougher there…
He is crazy..She is crazy…That is wrong…This is not true…

Trying to comprehend what is happening.
YOU TOLD ME WHAT IS WRONG. YOU FORGOT TO TELL ME WHAT IS TRUE?
With No crutch to lean on to, am afraid.
Fear is fine. Falsehood is not.
My Contemplation is mocked by my own feeling that the answer is ridiculously obvious and simple.
Want to thrash my own self to the ground in hope of awakening myself.
Am waiting.

7 comments:

Sri's Cacographies said...

Is this written by u or quoted from somewhere. Anyway gud one and aptly reflects the nostalgic mindsets of NRIs.

A.J.Anto said...

Thanks! And yes, I wrote it.

Rams said...

Awesome!

Rams said...

In fact, there's a beauty to esoteric writing :D
They are possible to multiple interpretations as is the reader's bias... I read the whole post with whatever I think was the perspective and was surprised that the first commenter had observed it from a totally different stand point, which, i don't think is for what u wrote this.

A.J.Anto said...

And it gets the message across only to the ppl it is meant for! Indeed Art is the ultimate crypto!

Deepak said...

Excellent one Anto.
BTW, both you are Rams are spot on in your final observations :)

Gokulakrishnan S said...

@anto: YOU FORGOT TO TELL ME WHAT IS TRUE?
spot on da.. Compassion, my foot!
Its really reckless cruelty.